Waves of thoughts and emotions crash over like tides on the beach
My shelter that I have built is slowly washing away
Stick by stick, branch by branch
Slowly breaking away, floating off to sea.
Lighthouse shines through the night like a beacon of hope for the restless and weary
Those piercing eyes shining through the beaten and battered shelter of my emotions
Staring into my being and my soul, seeing what really makes me the person that I am today
No distrust no doubt of true help in the torrid storm and rough seas
The storm is welcomed and very much needed
However, the shelter, which long before stood, is now torn apart
Its pieces
I'm sorry for what I did... by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
I'm sorry for what I did...
I'm sorry for whatI did,
I'm sorry for who I was.
I can make up excuses,
I can try to blame it on something else...
But it's still my fault....
I know I shouldn't have done that,
I know that I went to far.
I know that i shouldn't have been there,
I know that I shouldn't have brought you...
But you were right there with me...
I know that I hurt you when I wasn't me,
I know that I lost your trust that night.
I know that I lied about my life,
I know that i wasn't honest from the start...
But I can't make it up to you....
I know that you liked me,
I know that we could have worked.
I know that i screwed up,
I know that it's gone.
This is how I feel..... by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
This is how I feel.....
The pain I've felt in life is too much for some to bear.
I have had friends I *thought* I knew, surprise me by taking their life in front of my eyes,
I have had some that I love; hurt me by tearing out my heart,
I have had my own family turn against me, verbally and physically,
I have had those that I trusted; betray me in the worst means possible.
I had the chance to have it all…. but I could never grasp it,
I had the chance to be great, but I am only marginal at best.
I have had the best of friends recently pass away,
Those that I could talk with and those that I could have fun with…. Gone in the blink of an eye.
I once had someone
Where were you when I was tormented in skool¿
When all you thought of me was just a fool
Where you when I could not take it anymore¿
When all I though about was revenge
Where were you when I need you the most¿
When I hit the bottom of depression
Where were you when all I saw was fear¿
When I couldn't get out of this living hell
Where were you when I went into seclusion¿
When all I witnessed was a delusion
Where were you when I ended it all¿
When I had pulled the trigger and fell.
antisocial
dressed in black
thinking of death
with no turning back
slits his wrists
because they tell him to
clenches his fists
painfull things to do
today they will pay
they will understand
today is my day
with death in his hand
his head held high
for the very first time
he walks proudly with a purpose
never seen them shed a tear
all eyes are on him
and they are all full of fear
with the sound of several shots
and a fall to the floor
he told them how he felt
the pain sank deep
everyone wishing it to be done
as he rocked them to sleep
to the sound of a gun.
If I end it all now.... by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
If I end it all now....
I need a break from it all,
I want it all to end,
The pain,
The memories,
The suffering,
The sickness,
The death,
The anguish.
I need a break from the world,
A break from my feelings,
A break from my life,
A break from myself.
Pain is the only thing that helps me now,
That takes me away from reality,
Away from it all,
Away from my past wrongs,
Away from the mistakes I have made,
Away from what I have done to other people,
Away from the lives I have ruined,
Away from the lives that could have been,
Away from the LIFE that could have been.
If I end it now, everything will be fine,
There will be no more pain or memories to
Alone and in the dark of life by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
Alone and in the dark of life
I was alone and in the dark,
Just wasting away,
Piece by piece
Slowly fading, slowly dying,
My soul had died,
My mind was a mess. Just melting away.
But then you came and made it light.
You picked me up and put me back,
Back the way I was.
My soul was revived as it saw the new light,
My mind returned to a working state.
The world looked new, fresh and alive.
The days were brighter, colours crisper, air fresher.
All because you came into my life and saved me from myself.
~ Scott W. DeVries
Where would I be without you? by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
Where would I be without you?
Where would I be without you?
I would be back in my room,
Back in the dark,
Pushing everyone away,
Letting no come close
Letting nothing get through,
Through the dark shroud in my life.
Where would I be without you?
I would be alone.
No one to talk to,
No one to listen to,
No one to be there,
No one to be around,
No one to hold me close and tell me they care.
Where would I be without you?
I would be forever lost,
In my own dark and familiar world…
Of pain and misery,
Of suffering and isolation,
Of loneliness and despair.
Where would I be without you?
I would be dead.
~ Scott W. DeVries
They told me you didn't love me,
They told me you didn't care,
They told me you were only using me,
They told me you were dishonest,
They told me to be weary of the things you say,
They told me to run as far away as I could,
They told me LIES!!
I know you love me,
I know you care,
I know you would never use me,
I know you would never lie.
I have listened to everything you have said,
I have only run to you,
I have tried to get as close to you as possible,
I LOVE YOU!! But they think I don't know what love is.
I'd fight for you,
I'd die for you,
I'd give everything I have away to be with you.
I told them they were wrong,
I to
When I look into your eyes, I see love.
When I look at your face, I see a beautiful woman.
When I look at your smile, I feel loved.
When I am around you, the problems melt away.
When we talk, I can just open up and pour out my heart.
When we kiss,
Wow!! What a feeling.
The feeling that you are close and you will never leave.
The feeling that you and I are in love with each other.
The feeling that we can go through anything together.
Though you may get butterflies and I might get a little nervous,
I still love you no matter what!
We can make it together,
Through the thick and the thin.
Just a small saying that I borrowed,
'A wal
Waves of thoughts and emotions crash over like tides on the beach
My shelter that I have built is slowly washing away
Stick by stick, branch by branch
Slowly breaking away, floating off to sea.
Lighthouse shines through the night like a beacon of hope for the restless and weary
Those piercing eyes shining through the beaten and battered shelter of my emotions
Staring into my being and my soul, seeing what really makes me the person that I am today
No distrust no doubt of true help in the torrid storm and rough seas
The storm is welcomed and very much needed
However, the shelter, which long before stood, is now torn apart
Its pieces
I can't feel the pain anymore,
I see the cuts on my flesh but I still feel nothing,
I see the blood flowing down my arm,
But I have no feeling.
The wounds are long and deep but I keep going,
One turns into two, two into three and more and more,
I feel relief but I still feel no pain.
Is it that I truly can't feel it anymore?
Have I gotten this hard on the inside that I have no feelings?
No! This can't be!
I have been stabbed in the back and I felt that!
I have been stabbed in the heart and I felt that!
I was stabbed so many time that the pain I felt from that was unbearable,
I hurt so bad that at points I couldn't take it anymore
Too much pain and too much death I've seen in my life,
Friends overdosing on pills, friends getting hurt,
I can't stop it all, I can't help them all, and I can't understand it all,
But I can try my best.
I may be big, I may be bed, and I may be tough,
But I'm not!
The outside that you know isn't real,
The inside is what really matters,
Soft, passionate, caring and thoughtful
This is who I really am.
No one ever listened, No one ever cared.
I got further and further away from everyone day to day.
The solace and the solitude were all I wanted and knew,
My own reason and my own thoughts were all that made sense,
Everyone was tellin
I love you so much that.... by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
I love you so much that....
I love you so much that I couldn't be without you,
I love you so much that I wouldn't be afraid to cry with you,
I love you so much that I would die for you,
I love you so much that every time I see you I never want to leave,
I love you so much that every time I hear that you aren't having a good day,
Mine doesn't get much better.
I love you so much that every time you call, I never want to hang up,
I love you so much that I will marry you,
I love you so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with you,
I love you so much that I will NEVER leave you or hurt you,
I love you so much that,
I can no longer express my love for you
When I look into your eyes, I see love.
When I look at your face, I see a beautiful woman.
When I look at your smile, I feel loved.
When I am around you, the problems melt away.
When we talk, I can just open up and pour out my heart.
When we kiss,
Wow!! What a feeling.
The feeling that you are close and you will never leave.
The feeling that you and I are in love with each other.
The feeling that we can go through anything together.
Though you may get butterflies and I might get a little nervous,
I still love you no matter what!
We can make it together,
Through the thick and the thin.
Just a small saying that I borrowed,
'A wal
They told me you didn't love me,
They told me you didn't care,
They told me you were only using me,
They told me you were dishonest,
They told me to be weary of the things you say,
They told me to run as far away as I could,
They told me LIES!!
I know you love me,
I know you care,
I know you would never use me,
I know you would never lie.
I have listened to everything you have said,
I have only run to you,
I have tried to get as close to you as possible,
I LOVE YOU!! But they think I don't know what love is.
I'd fight for you,
I'd die for you,
I'd give everything I have away to be with you.
I told them they were wrong,
I to
Where would I be without you? by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
Where would I be without you?
Where would I be without you?
I would be back in my room,
Back in the dark,
Pushing everyone away,
Letting no come close
Letting nothing get through,
Through the dark shroud in my life.
Where would I be without you?
I would be alone.
No one to talk to,
No one to listen to,
No one to be there,
No one to be around,
No one to hold me close and tell me they care.
Where would I be without you?
I would be forever lost,
In my own dark and familiar world…
Of pain and misery,
Of suffering and isolation,
Of loneliness and despair.
Where would I be without you?
I would be dead.
~ Scott W. DeVries
Alone and in the dark of life by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
Alone and in the dark of life
I was alone and in the dark,
Just wasting away,
Piece by piece
Slowly fading, slowly dying,
My soul had died,
My mind was a mess. Just melting away.
But then you came and made it light.
You picked me up and put me back,
Back the way I was.
My soul was revived as it saw the new light,
My mind returned to a working state.
The world looked new, fresh and alive.
The days were brighter, colours crisper, air fresher.
All because you came into my life and saved me from myself.
~ Scott W. DeVries
If I end it all now.... by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
If I end it all now....
I need a break from it all,
I want it all to end,
The pain,
The memories,
The suffering,
The sickness,
The death,
The anguish.
I need a break from the world,
A break from my feelings,
A break from my life,
A break from myself.
Pain is the only thing that helps me now,
That takes me away from reality,
Away from it all,
Away from my past wrongs,
Away from the mistakes I have made,
Away from what I have done to other people,
Away from the lives I have ruined,
Away from the lives that could have been,
Away from the LIFE that could have been.
If I end it now, everything will be fine,
There will be no more pain or memories to
Alone and in the dark of life by Prothonotary, literature
Literature
Alone and in the dark of life
I was alone and in the dark,
Just wasting away,
Piece by piece
Slowly fading, slowly dying,
My soul had died,
My mind was a mess. Just melting away.
But then you came and made it light.
You picked me up and put me back,
Back the way I was.
My soul was revived as it saw the new light,
My mind returned to a working state.
The world looked new, fresh and alive.
The days were brighter, colours crisper, air fresher.
All because you came into my life and saved me from myself.
~ Scott W. DeVries
Current Residence: P.O. Box 93129, Lubbock, Texas 79493 4201 88th place cell: 580-465-8175 Favourite genre of music: Rap, Gangster rap, death metal, heavy metal, rock, electronic, jazz, TECHNO!!!! Favourite style of art: Abstract Operating System: Windows XP Pro, Windows Vista -Codename Longhorn- Beata, Windows XP Home MP3 player of choice: Winamp/Windows Media player Shell of choice: idfc Wallpaper of choice: Something with skulls and fire Skin of choice: the girls that is sleeping nxt to me Favourite cartoon character: Bugs Bunny Personal Quote: Stay away because I'm allergic to dying and i'm only crazy on days that end in the letter
Favourite Visual Artist
Stained/seether
Favourite Movies
Hostel
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Eminem, HIM, Trivium, Static X, Disturbed, System of a Down, Drowning pool, ICP, Chamillionare
Favourite Writers
LonelyTears
Favourite Games
Grand Theft: Auto Vice City
Favourite Gaming Platform
psp
Tools of the Trade
Desert Eagle .50 Magnum... ohh!! 'TOOLS'... as in art. Adobe/Paint Shop Pro/Maya/Blender
Hey all y'all!! I just got out of State jail in Plainview Texas, (Formby and Wheeler)... I'm finally glad to be out and back to my beautiful wife and hyper active son!!! Yes for those of you who don't know this, I got married on June 24th 2008 to this weird girl Heather from Oklahoma!! woot woot lol but i'm going to be adding a LOT more poem to my page soon so keep a close eye to read them!! thanks for all the watches guys!!
Peace and Love
~Scott W. DeVries